i dont know how to show you how its more than words, the affects, because inside you can't see out and inside you dont see pain but one step outside and everything is there. it never hurt me. them having to pick me up from there. it was a story told to see shock in others. it was a story told that some brought up and laughed at. and its right now that its finally making sense. i was so distant. it was the feeling. the physical manifestation of affection. it was lust. it was a hunger for completeness and intimacy. hunger is so blinding it causes mirages. hunger is so strong it causes stealing. hunger is so overwhelming it needs satisfaction, and finding it in anyone but Christ is called sin. sin is separation. but who cares until something happens and you realize you are alone and you realize that other people love you and you realize that there are reprocussions and you realize you are living in lies just for a hug and some fake words. and i wish i could show you.

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