this morning i was determined to wake up early and see joe off, give him the pillow i made and everything. but i woke up late and as i looked at the clock my heart went into a panic, and i as i sobbed around i decided to call just in case he hadnt left yet. and praise Jesus, he hadnt although he sounded sad i (guess thinking i just slept in or forgot him, maybe just tired). so anyway, he stopped by and i got to see him !! and give him the stuff i made, tell him i would miss him. i cant imagine a week with him in Ohio, and me in Orlando, with out crying, and i had to fight back tears as he drove away. my heart feels so broken, and many times i think, O Jesus, i cant do this, cant we just get married? or cant you just tell us that is your plan so i can rest in that hope? but ive never met anyone else like joe, whose heart is so stayed on Him, and i am encouraged spiritually by just looking at him. o Lord, please ease my heart ache right now, it hurts so,and God i didnt seek this amazing guy, but you have put us together and i give my will to You. Please carry me.

<< >>