i watched dogma. partially. i was moved by the monologue by affleck, moved to tears. and i fast fowarded to see god's smile. other than that i cannot say i was offended, however in my pursuit to know God and to be pure and holy as He is pure and holy i didnt watch the rest. im sure that it was a clever satire of the hypocracies so evident in the church, with which i am more familiar than most know. but it hurt me to see it...to imagine you watching it. call me immature and legalistic. say that i have so much 'religion' in me to judge something that God did not specify by name in scripture. but i know that it comprimised my standards and i praise God for standards which keep me in focus. im honestly scared now. i realize i havent earnestly prayed for so much. im scared because its something ive barely done, and what if the plans i thought were right are not. where do i go? ive been struggling in thoughts for the past week (at least) and im hurting because im making myself crazy. micheal always told me "dont over anal-lyze". where is the line between analysing and discerning. and if i feel that i am consistantly in "love"(dare i use the word?) what can i do? i dont want to hear the word 'no' so i dont ask, and thats gotten me into a lot of trouble in the past. come quickly Jesus. i need Thee every hour.

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