yes you know this hurts me

its so ironic that you are the one that bought me a book called "A Pathway Through Suffering"
did you know the bitter reality of its significance in my life?
i slept 3 hours last night, less the night before
i had amazing conversations and confusing silences
i prayed and read and cried
and then this friend asked a person next to me a question
loud enough so that i could hear it-"how committed is a relationship required to be if you are not married?"
and that was all
a posed question, retorical
spoke volumes to me
i am not here for myself-i am here for His Glory
and you are back home
and i wont judge what your doing
but i wonder all the time
why this book from you had to be so true
with you
im sure you think im blowing things out of proportion
doesnt long distance seem to have a direct correlation
to confusion

and dear God, i want to be close to You
and i want to be all Yours
im asking You again, take from me my life
why do i think its mine?

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